jeki

Three people were standing on the Titanic...

2010-07-09T17:18:02+00:00

Three people were standing on the Titanic, An American, a Brit and an belgian. It was almost sinking. The captain told everyone to go into the liveboats. The Brit yelled "Women and children first". The American said "Screw the women and children" and the Belgian answered "Huh, do we have enough time left to do that?"

Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be...

2010-07-09T17:17:08+00:00

Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), "So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do? "I study the Torah," he replies. "But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are going to feed and house her?" "No problem," says Sol, "I study Torah and it says God will provide." "But you will have children, how will you educate them?" asks Mr. Schwartz. "No problem," says Sol, "I study Torah and it says God will provide." Mr. Shwartz goes home and Mrs. Shwartz, his wife, anxiously asks what Sol is like. "Well," says Mr. Shwartz, "he's a lovely boy, I only just met him and he already thinks I'm God."

What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?

2010-07-09T17:15:47+00:00

What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?

A shepherd.

A Chinese man is making love to his wife...

2010-07-09T17:14:52+00:00

A Chinese man is making love to his wife. He whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna' 69!"

She gives him a strange look and replies, "You want Beef and Broccoli NOW?"

Detective report

2010-07-09T17:13:47+00:00

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:

Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see. No Fee.

Sent by Marina

How do a jewish couple have oral sex?

2010-07-09T17:12:42+00:00

How do a jewish couple have oral sex?

... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO ONE AND OTHER"

Sent by Ivan

The Frenchman and the Italian...

2010-07-09T17:11:24+00:00

The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude. "Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!" the Frenchman said, smacking his lips.

So the Italian shot her.